Minecraft: trolling in a block world

Minecraft: Build what you want. Troll what you want.

Overall Troll Score: 4/5
The flexibility of Minecraft allows for all sorts of shenanigans. From being able to break down art pieces to creating castles, Minecraft has the making of troll heaven (or perhaps hell for your victims). The physics engine makes a fruitful basket of potential follies – hidden lava pit traps, TNT cannons, redstone ‘DON’T PUSH’ buttons – and the list doesn’t stop there. Creativity is in the essence of Minecraft. If you’re a noob and don’t know the difference between an OR Gate and an AND Gate then you gotta’ get learned. Watch the pros, the trolls, and the rest of those bastards (also check the well-developed wiki page). For those who already got their shizen together, here is a few good ol’ troll moves that keep the rest of us smiling.

The Creeper Lure: 2/5
This is a quick and dirty temptation for the average troll. This easy-to-do trick requires quick feet and a creeper (pre-explosion). Get within four or five blocks until that walking boomstick starts chasing you. Keep it at distance until you have found your victim. Run past the target and watch as the creeper deals with the scrub. Bonus points if you manage to destroy important property or more than one player.

Where did my house go: 4/5
Ever log back on and forget where your house was? Have you ever considered your friend moved it? This trick has been floating up in the higher up, more committed minecraft-troll community. This takes a good memory (write it down if need be), materials equal to the materials of the targets house/castle/pyramid, and meticulous skill with block usage. First, make sure you know the targets house set up. Was there a fireplace? How many stairs were there? What did all the signs say? After marking all of this, break their house. Yes, the entire thing is going down. You can use most of these materials for later in this process but you may need some more due to breaking issues (such as book cases). Find a place. The further the location the more difficult it is for this troll to be successful. Rebuild the house. Yes, the entire house. This is where being meticulous comes into play. To all those gamers that 100% every game (Final Fantasy, Zelda, etc…) this sort of intense go-quick and accurate isn’t so hard. To the rest of you, TROLL UP! If there were signs leading to the person’s house, change them accordingly. Also feel free to change sidewalks and the whatnot. When the victim finally gets back to the server watch them as they don’t understand why their own memory is disillusioned. Major props if they don’t call you out on it.

Classic Ban Trick: 1/5
This trick goes back to the 90's days of trolling on forums. Requiring a few people to talk freely to moderators, this classic move gets the victim banned from the server. On public chat blame the target for doing something such as fly hacking, item hacking, or inappropriately breaking things. Let the target really start to squirm on the chat. Get them somewhat talkative. After they start to break over into saying you are a troll or they start saying that they aren’t doing anything have a friend say they saw the victim doing the chosen “not okay” thing. From here watch the person squirm for what little time they have until an admin bans them for something they never did.

The Death Farm: 3/5
This killer trap can be as elaborate or minimalist as your devious heart desires. This will require a location that people will pass by and enough blocks to make a building. This trapped building’s goal is to be a Venus fly trap – to lure a passerby into their own death. Fashion a building with standard looks. You may want it to be covered to make it more difficult to detect. Place a redstone trap within the building to be able to allow the floor to be removed. If you are still in the ranks of the noobs and don’t know how to create a removable floor then youtube a way to make it happen. Mark the outside of the house to be something that someone would like to visit such as a watermelon farm, monster farm, or XPLAYERX CHESTS DON’T TOUCH PLOX. Watch from afar as the greed of your victims lets them fall to their pitiful deaths. Bonus points for making an uncovered (open roof or otherwise) trap. Also, if you get the chance to see why Venus fly traps are named as they are you may get a good laugh #tippity twitchet.

The Troll Recap:
This game is more flexible than your mom on prom night. The sheer amount of trolling that this game conducts is enormous. Creativity and perseverance are of the utmost importance. As for all games, you gotta’ know your shizzen with minecraft. Watch youtube, read the wiki, play the game, become a god troll in a game that finally lets you troll to your heart’s content.