Introduct

You are probably asking yourself what this blog is about? TROLL GURU is a site dedicated to the art of trolling in video games. You read that right, it is a place to learn about being a bastard. This is an evil, evil place where a person can go to blow ON steam. However, before we get started I have an important question to discuss. Everyone knows what "trolling" is, but few have taken the effort to describe what it is. Since this blog is based around the concept, it is a good idea to fully consider what IT is.

Trolling is about being a dick with bad ass intention. When you conquer your foe inside the frame of a video game, there is nothing better than thrusting your salty t-bag upon the loser's face. It not only pisses the loser off, it also shows your superiority. They are your bitch, your play-toy, and you are the cat fucking with the dead mouse. You can smear your uncouth genitalia across his chin and he can't do a damn thing to stop it. That is the goal of trolling. It's not about being an asshole. It's about being the dick fucking the asshole. Domination, humiliation, power-play. In a weird way it is similar to sadomasochism, where one derives pleasure from giving or receiving pain, or the German concept of schadenfreude, obtaining pleasure from anothers misery. And methinks Foucault, if he were alive today, would have a few things to say about this medium's form of willing the other player into submission.


The goal of this blog is not about being a jerk to the other players, it is instead about humiliation. This humiliation, the forcing of your opponent into believing he is overwhelmingly outmatched by your abilities, will often cause your adversaries to give up early, not necessarily physically but almost always mentally. A brick statue of motherfucking Gandalf the Grey is in his path, and that fucking statue is you. Sun Tzu once said in The Art of War that "supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting." Similarly, crushing your opponents' will via these "trolling" gestures will accomplish the same thing. You will defeat your enemy within the first minute, and the rest of the game will belong to you. You will literally be able to start forming the boundaries within the game that others believe they are playing in. Warning, this is not a simple take. Being a good troll does require you to know the ins and outs of a game. It requires extensive knowledge and a dedication to something others in society may see as a waste of time.

TROLL GURU is dedicated to all the would-be trolls out there waiting to terrorize their friends. So welcome to the world of fuckery, scoundrel, you are in good company.