Hi, guys, Sergeant Neckbeard here. I thought I would start this new section because I am having trouble writing articles solely about trolling in video games. My fellow writers will continue to do just that; however my main experience has to do with other sorts of media, specifically television and film. I know the title of this article sounds harsh. It was meant to be that way. I despised World War Z, and not for stupid reasons like its PG-13 rating or because of alterations from the novel. No, I hated it for falling into stupid tropes, stupid character decisions, and quick edits. These problems stem mainly from the lazy editing of the director and the fact that it had a fuck ton of writers. Anyway, I know some may question a person who goes into a movie to find reasons to dislike it. I acknowledge that. I understand it. But when I hate something, I am passionate about it. Now to begin:
1. The kid-never-dies rule. I hate this. It made me guffaw to watch the little effeminate kid miraculously survive his parents' deaths then save the hero in the nick of time. This is a lazy movie trope, and it added absolutely nothing to the story except give way to over-sentimental scenes when Brad Pitt leaves his wife and kids. Fuck that. It shows nothing about BPitt's character except that he is perfect and of course doesn't want to leave. It's boring.
2. Foreshadowing that goes no where. It was rammed into us early on in the film that some people take longer to transform into zombies than others. Not only did this never come back up, it makes the sense of letting people onto those ships without quarantine first completely short-sided for an operation like that. Brad Pitt just had zombie blood in his mouth and no one cares to follow up on that? You're going to let him walk around those seaward halls like he owns the fucking place?
3. Choppy action scenes. I hate this. I can't tell what's going on. It looks cheap and hides all the work done by the artists who created those effects. Plus, I think it is, again, lazy. See the same director's Quantum of Solace. The movie is unwatchable because of its overuse.
4. The zombies are often unintentionally hilarious. You have the zee-doctor at the end chomping his fake teeth at Pitt's mug and making fucking Pterodactyl sounds. It's not scary, it's absurd. I would be okay with this if it was supposed to be a dark comedy, but World War Z takes itself so goddam seriously. The black woman in the cage was overacting, though she was scary. The thought of Pitt confronting her alone in that glass box was a bit nerve-wracking, but still, I couldn't get out of my head that that woman was an actor. It's a problem I have with the Walking Dead too, mainly because it's obvious some walkers have more make-up on than others.
5. The characters' actions make no goddam sense. How many times did this scenario go down: "sure B-pitt, we'll change everything we've been doing for the past few months after hearing you talk for 5 minutes to accomplish something you aren't even sure about and will probably end up killing us all." The stationed military men acting reckless to get BPitt to Israel for reasons not very well explained enough to get the audience or the stiffs to care. BPitt getting the airplane crew to change course for a mission that wasn't made very clear... again. BPitt convincing the lab technicians to venture into B wing without anyone really raising a fuss even though it could very well kill them all. The funniest one to me though was when all the techs left the zombies in the hallway so they could watch Pitt on the TV. It's been well established at this point that the zekes can break through things if they gang up on it. What THE fUCK.
6. Brad Pitt injecting himself with dangerous bacteria at the end---no.
7. Not to complain too much about the book, but I did miss its sense of world building. Brooks focused heavily on how societies developed after the invasion. WWZ was made into an action movie, which I am fine with, but I feel like it did take away from some of the nifty world building the book had. In fact, I feel like it was the books best aspect: how would the zombie apocalypse actually play out realistically?
8. Cinematic choices that again made the characters unbelievable. For example see Brad Pitt risking everything at the end in the hallway by letting the zekes run past him. I thought this guy's main goal was to get back to his family. Why would he fucking risk a stray scrape or bite from one of those fuckers? I know why: it looked cool. It makes me feel used.
9. UN Propaganda. There was the typical carbon dioxide shit at the end beginning of the film as well as the UN being more powerful than most nation states. I feel like the infrastructure is not in place for this to happen, and that any setup like this would most definitely be controlled by the US. You could argue that it was in the film, but I still felt like it showed a world that does not quite yet exist and pushes the audience to accept it. It is a vehicle for Brad Pitt's political views.
There's my reasons. If you disagree, comment below. What did you think of World War Z? Am I entirely off base? Do you hate me and think I have a small penis?
Neckbeard, OUT!
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Minecraft: trolling in a block world
Minecraft: Build what you want. Troll what you want.
Overall Troll Score: 4/5
The flexibility of Minecraft allows for all sorts of shenanigans. From being able to break down art pieces to creating castles, Minecraft has the making of troll heaven (or perhaps hell for your victims). The physics engine makes a fruitful basket of potential follies – hidden lava pit traps, TNT cannons, redstone ‘DON’T PUSH’ buttons – and the list doesn’t stop there. Creativity is in the essence of Minecraft. If you’re a noob and don’t know the difference between an OR Gate and an AND Gate then you gotta’ get learned. Watch the pros, the trolls, and the rest of those bastards (also check the well-developed wiki page). For those who already got their shizen together, here is a few good ol’ troll moves that keep the rest of us smiling.
The Creeper Lure: 2/5
This is a quick and dirty temptation for the average troll. This easy-to-do trick requires quick feet and a creeper (pre-explosion). Get within four or five blocks until that walking boomstick starts chasing you. Keep it at distance until you have found your victim. Run past the target and watch as the creeper deals with the scrub. Bonus points if you manage to destroy important property or more than one player.
Where did my house go: 4/5
Ever log back on and forget where your house was? Have you ever considered your friend moved it? This trick has been floating up in the higher up, more committed minecraft-troll community. This takes a good memory (write it down if need be), materials equal to the materials of the targets house/castle/pyramid, and meticulous skill with block usage. First, make sure you know the targets house set up. Was there a fireplace? How many stairs were there? What did all the signs say? After marking all of this, break their house. Yes, the entire thing is going down. You can use most of these materials for later in this process but you may need some more due to breaking issues (such as book cases). Find a place. The further the location the more difficult it is for this troll to be successful. Rebuild the house. Yes, the entire house. This is where being meticulous comes into play. To all those gamers that 100% every game (Final Fantasy, Zelda, etc…) this sort of intense go-quick and accurate isn’t so hard. To the rest of you, TROLL UP! If there were signs leading to the person’s house, change them accordingly. Also feel free to change sidewalks and the whatnot. When the victim finally gets back to the server watch them as they don’t understand why their own memory is disillusioned. Major props if they don’t call you out on it.
Classic Ban Trick: 1/5
This trick goes back to the 90's days of trolling on forums. Requiring a few people to talk freely to moderators, this classic move gets the victim banned from the server. On public chat blame the target for doing something such as fly hacking, item hacking, or inappropriately breaking things. Let the target really start to squirm on the chat. Get them somewhat talkative. After they start to break over into saying you are a troll or they start saying that they aren’t doing anything have a friend say they saw the victim doing the chosen “not okay” thing. From here watch the person squirm for what little time they have until an admin bans them for something they never did.
The Death Farm: 3/5
This killer trap can be as elaborate or minimalist as your devious heart desires. This will require a location that people will pass by and enough blocks to make a building. This trapped building’s goal is to be a Venus fly trap – to lure a passerby into their own death. Fashion a building with standard looks. You may want it to be covered to make it more difficult to detect. Place a redstone trap within the building to be able to allow the floor to be removed. If you are still in the ranks of the noobs and don’t know how to create a removable floor then youtube a way to make it happen. Mark the outside of the house to be something that someone would like to visit such as a watermelon farm, monster farm, or XPLAYERX CHESTS DON’T TOUCH PLOX. Watch from afar as the greed of your victims lets them fall to their pitiful deaths. Bonus points for making an uncovered (open roof or otherwise) trap. Also, if you get the chance to see why Venus fly traps are named as they are you may get a good laugh #tippity twitchet.
The Troll Recap:
This game is more flexible than your mom on prom night. The sheer amount of trolling that this game conducts is enormous. Creativity and perseverance are of the utmost importance. As for all games, you gotta’ know your shizzen with minecraft. Watch youtube, read the wiki, play the game, become a god troll in a game that finally lets you troll to your heart’s content.
Overall Troll Score: 4/5
The flexibility of Minecraft allows for all sorts of shenanigans. From being able to break down art pieces to creating castles, Minecraft has the making of troll heaven (or perhaps hell for your victims). The physics engine makes a fruitful basket of potential follies – hidden lava pit traps, TNT cannons, redstone ‘DON’T PUSH’ buttons – and the list doesn’t stop there. Creativity is in the essence of Minecraft. If you’re a noob and don’t know the difference between an OR Gate and an AND Gate then you gotta’ get learned. Watch the pros, the trolls, and the rest of those bastards (also check the well-developed wiki page). For those who already got their shizen together, here is a few good ol’ troll moves that keep the rest of us smiling.
The Creeper Lure: 2/5
This is a quick and dirty temptation for the average troll. This easy-to-do trick requires quick feet and a creeper (pre-explosion). Get within four or five blocks until that walking boomstick starts chasing you. Keep it at distance until you have found your victim. Run past the target and watch as the creeper deals with the scrub. Bonus points if you manage to destroy important property or more than one player.
Where did my house go: 4/5
Ever log back on and forget where your house was? Have you ever considered your friend moved it? This trick has been floating up in the higher up, more committed minecraft-troll community. This takes a good memory (write it down if need be), materials equal to the materials of the targets house/castle/pyramid, and meticulous skill with block usage. First, make sure you know the targets house set up. Was there a fireplace? How many stairs were there? What did all the signs say? After marking all of this, break their house. Yes, the entire thing is going down. You can use most of these materials for later in this process but you may need some more due to breaking issues (such as book cases). Find a place. The further the location the more difficult it is for this troll to be successful. Rebuild the house. Yes, the entire house. This is where being meticulous comes into play. To all those gamers that 100% every game (Final Fantasy, Zelda, etc…) this sort of intense go-quick and accurate isn’t so hard. To the rest of you, TROLL UP! If there were signs leading to the person’s house, change them accordingly. Also feel free to change sidewalks and the whatnot. When the victim finally gets back to the server watch them as they don’t understand why their own memory is disillusioned. Major props if they don’t call you out on it.
Classic Ban Trick: 1/5
This trick goes back to the 90's days of trolling on forums. Requiring a few people to talk freely to moderators, this classic move gets the victim banned from the server. On public chat blame the target for doing something such as fly hacking, item hacking, or inappropriately breaking things. Let the target really start to squirm on the chat. Get them somewhat talkative. After they start to break over into saying you are a troll or they start saying that they aren’t doing anything have a friend say they saw the victim doing the chosen “not okay” thing. From here watch the person squirm for what little time they have until an admin bans them for something they never did.
The Death Farm: 3/5
This killer trap can be as elaborate or minimalist as your devious heart desires. This will require a location that people will pass by and enough blocks to make a building. This trapped building’s goal is to be a Venus fly trap – to lure a passerby into their own death. Fashion a building with standard looks. You may want it to be covered to make it more difficult to detect. Place a redstone trap within the building to be able to allow the floor to be removed. If you are still in the ranks of the noobs and don’t know how to create a removable floor then youtube a way to make it happen. Mark the outside of the house to be something that someone would like to visit such as a watermelon farm, monster farm, or XPLAYERX CHESTS DON’T TOUCH PLOX. Watch from afar as the greed of your victims lets them fall to their pitiful deaths. Bonus points for making an uncovered (open roof or otherwise) trap. Also, if you get the chance to see why Venus fly traps are named as they are you may get a good laugh #tippity twitchet.
The Troll Recap:
This game is more flexible than your mom on prom night. The sheer amount of trolling that this game conducts is enormous. Creativity and perseverance are of the utmost importance. As for all games, you gotta’ know your shizzen with minecraft. Watch youtube, read the wiki, play the game, become a god troll in a game that finally lets you troll to your heart’s content.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
The Meta-Troller
META TROLL
The Game:
The game is life. No, not the one made my Milton Bradley. The one you experience every morning as you eat a bowl of cereal, as you take a shit on the cold rim, as you flirt with a cute barista who looks at you with annoyed eyes. Life is all very disgusting and beautiful. It breaks you down and builds you up. Half the time it feels like it's worth it, the other half you feel like getting stupid with a bottle knowing it's all pointless.
What makes it all the more frustrating is that you, I, and everybody we know are limited to our senses. They give us only a mist which must be interpreted to form any sort of coherence. Video games, if anything, are becoming more lifelike every year (if not more dreamlike). As their landscapes become more layered and textured, they are more visceral, drawing the player further in-- the difference between the two fading at a quickening pace. Like the 1930s pulp fiction story, "The CIty of the Living Dead", where humanity plays in virtual worlds as the one outside falls to ruin, modern people play MMORPGs in lieu of physical relationships, discover new lands in Elder Scrolls, Fall Out, and the Legend of Zelda instead of exploring their own backyard, and tend to crops and animals in social games created by Zynga and not their own gardens.
Like the "real" world, video games give the observer a held perspective and a number of tools in which to interact with it. However, the various digital "realms" are limited to only one sense (sight), whereas the "real" one has at least five. But unlike our day-to-day lives, most games give the player a fixed task to accomplish. Developers are getting further away from this limiting factor however. Originating with Maxis and expanding with their Sims series, these games let the player live their everyday life through an avatar. You can build a house, get married, develop a nice career, and raise children. But that is not all-- there is also the mundane tasks of feeding, bathing, and yes, even making your Sim piss. These seemingly boring activities have given thousands if not millions of game players entertainment over the years. It also makes the perennial question if God watches you piss and fuck all the more personal. If this voyeurism, this living through another, is engaging to a preteen girl and a 50-year old business man alike, surely God must enjoy a little peek-a-boo.
Video games are also a strikingly apt metaphor for the many-armed gods so ubiquitous in Hinduism. The idea goes that all of us, every person, animal, plant, rock, are the sleeping god Brahma. The various arms are one consciousness working in tandem, not knowing the other limbs are being controlled from one source. The Sims, trapped in their own little fantasy home, are completely unaware they are being controlled from one sentient being-- YOU! All their little conflicts stem not from themselves but from the player. If they knew this fact, What would they do? Would they look to the heavens, their middle finger raised? Would they hack the Matrix and come after you? Would they commit mass suicide? Or worse, would they invent philosophy and religion?
This begs the question: are we living in one massive meta-troll hell? A gamer god looking on us from an unseeable universe, influencing or controlling our every waking movement and thought? It might be an experiment, testing us for some sick reason, or perhaps breeding us for our energy, ala the Matrix films. (see David Icke.) Or Are we trapped in a massive virtual game simply for the amusement of some fucked up alien? If any of this true, perhaps we can troll the troller. Perhaps we can rise above his games and get back at him. Perhaps, we as sentient individuals with free will can change what generations of us have been stuck in.
The Trolling Maneuver:
If we are trapped in a game controlled by a voyeuristic GOD, then where do we go from here? Do we give in and accept the inscrutable nature of reality, try to rationalize it with complex theories, or fight back? The through-line of history is different factions of humans waging war on other factions of humans. This is justified through various means but it all boils down to one thing: my group is better than your group. This idea, while necessary as a survival method during our early days, is no longer necessary. This is not to say each group should give up what makes them unique or hand away their national sovereignty to a cabal. My suggestion is instead an ideological one: if we are being controlled by someone or something, let's do something about it as one group, as humanity. This involves looking at our pre-held beliefs and giving up some of the antiquated ones, namely the one brought up earlier-- that one group is inherently better than the other based on race, culture, or some other useless faction-creator. If we are separated from each other, than we are easier to control and easier to scare. So let's get enlightened, let's get rational, and let's start the revolution.
What is the revolution? It's the acceptance that the only person we can truly depend on is the self. A book I read on Buddhism, Buddhism Plain & Simple by Steve Hagen, gave three important things to remember, which will ultimately free and enlighten us: 1. You, everyone, everything you know, love, and hate, is going to die some day 2. You are complete already 3. You are your own salvation. If we do not recognize these three concepts we can be manipulated, controlled, ordered around, spit upon, shamed, and have every evil thing under the sun done to us, but if we do, if there is nothing left to lose, then baby, we are truly free.
And by accepting this inherent truth, the complete power of the individual, we can, according to Chaos magicians like comic cook writer Grant Morrison, start to manipulate this virtual reality game we are forced to play. Magicians do this by tricking their own mind. Occultists and Buddhists have often echoed the same sentiment: the interior world is a perfect reflection of the exterior one. By influencing one we can influence the make-up of the other. However, this "changing" cannot be done with sheer will alone (though was tried with extravagant memory palaces of the Middle Ages) it must be done surreptitiously, through a sort of back-handed hypnosis. The easiest method described is the creation of sigils. Morrison goes into it with his article Pop Magic!.
To shamans in Paleolithic clans, to magicians in the ancient Middle East, to Tibetans monks and today's occultists, researchers of the esoteric have been searching for the same thing: to peal back the layers of reality and be left with the TRUTH, whatever that may be. These truths are sometimes terrifying because they speak directly to what is inside us all. Because absolutely everything is in there-- Angels, demons, monsters, the old and new gods, black holes and supernovas, butterflies, ladybugs, and spiders, EVERYTHING. The beauty of homo sapiens is our self awareness and the fact that however we came to be, we are now studying the thing that created us. This fact gives us unfathomable power and happiness, but also unbearable agony, because we can have alternative intentions than what our actions may showcase, and as occultists know, INTENTION IS EVERYTHING.
To confront God, you have to recognize what you are, and that is infinite. You are not some small, powerless Sim inside a house stuck inside a computer's hard drive, you are everything. Before the advent of language, humans were unconvinced the back of the their head was closed, or that their thoughts were even their own but instead the voices of gods. Each human is unlimited, unfathomable potential, and no one, nobody has the right to control you.
The greatest lie in history was this: being thrown from the Garden of Eden was a "bad" thing. It was the most glorious thing that has ever happened. We now have freewill to decide our paths. Though it may agonize, it is our birth right to confront not only evil, but also our creator. We can do that by not being complacent and by not giving into the one with answers who promises peace and security. That is how we fight the voyeuristic God, by discovering our own potential, the universe within.
Trolling Difficulty Level: 10/10, would try again
Trolling in Pairs:
Some have said that performing rituals in duos is superior, seeing as I haven't tried I can't tell you. However, it might by a fun first date experience ;)
The Game:
The game is life. No, not the one made my Milton Bradley. The one you experience every morning as you eat a bowl of cereal, as you take a shit on the cold rim, as you flirt with a cute barista who looks at you with annoyed eyes. Life is all very disgusting and beautiful. It breaks you down and builds you up. Half the time it feels like it's worth it, the other half you feel like getting stupid with a bottle knowing it's all pointless.
What makes it all the more frustrating is that you, I, and everybody we know are limited to our senses. They give us only a mist which must be interpreted to form any sort of coherence. Video games, if anything, are becoming more lifelike every year (if not more dreamlike). As their landscapes become more layered and textured, they are more visceral, drawing the player further in-- the difference between the two fading at a quickening pace. Like the 1930s pulp fiction story, "The CIty of the Living Dead", where humanity plays in virtual worlds as the one outside falls to ruin, modern people play MMORPGs in lieu of physical relationships, discover new lands in Elder Scrolls, Fall Out, and the Legend of Zelda instead of exploring their own backyard, and tend to crops and animals in social games created by Zynga and not their own gardens.
Like the "real" world, video games give the observer a held perspective and a number of tools in which to interact with it. However, the various digital "realms" are limited to only one sense (sight), whereas the "real" one has at least five. But unlike our day-to-day lives, most games give the player a fixed task to accomplish. Developers are getting further away from this limiting factor however. Originating with Maxis and expanding with their Sims series, these games let the player live their everyday life through an avatar. You can build a house, get married, develop a nice career, and raise children. But that is not all-- there is also the mundane tasks of feeding, bathing, and yes, even making your Sim piss. These seemingly boring activities have given thousands if not millions of game players entertainment over the years. It also makes the perennial question if God watches you piss and fuck all the more personal. If this voyeurism, this living through another, is engaging to a preteen girl and a 50-year old business man alike, surely God must enjoy a little peek-a-boo.
Video games are also a strikingly apt metaphor for the many-armed gods so ubiquitous in Hinduism. The idea goes that all of us, every person, animal, plant, rock, are the sleeping god Brahma. The various arms are one consciousness working in tandem, not knowing the other limbs are being controlled from one source. The Sims, trapped in their own little fantasy home, are completely unaware they are being controlled from one sentient being-- YOU! All their little conflicts stem not from themselves but from the player. If they knew this fact, What would they do? Would they look to the heavens, their middle finger raised? Would they hack the Matrix and come after you? Would they commit mass suicide? Or worse, would they invent philosophy and religion?
This begs the question: are we living in one massive meta-troll hell? A gamer god looking on us from an unseeable universe, influencing or controlling our every waking movement and thought? It might be an experiment, testing us for some sick reason, or perhaps breeding us for our energy, ala the Matrix films. (see David Icke.) Or Are we trapped in a massive virtual game simply for the amusement of some fucked up alien? If any of this true, perhaps we can troll the troller. Perhaps we can rise above his games and get back at him. Perhaps, we as sentient individuals with free will can change what generations of us have been stuck in.
The Trolling Maneuver:
If we are trapped in a game controlled by a voyeuristic GOD, then where do we go from here? Do we give in and accept the inscrutable nature of reality, try to rationalize it with complex theories, or fight back? The through-line of history is different factions of humans waging war on other factions of humans. This is justified through various means but it all boils down to one thing: my group is better than your group. This idea, while necessary as a survival method during our early days, is no longer necessary. This is not to say each group should give up what makes them unique or hand away their national sovereignty to a cabal. My suggestion is instead an ideological one: if we are being controlled by someone or something, let's do something about it as one group, as humanity. This involves looking at our pre-held beliefs and giving up some of the antiquated ones, namely the one brought up earlier-- that one group is inherently better than the other based on race, culture, or some other useless faction-creator. If we are separated from each other, than we are easier to control and easier to scare. So let's get enlightened, let's get rational, and let's start the revolution.
What is the revolution? It's the acceptance that the only person we can truly depend on is the self. A book I read on Buddhism, Buddhism Plain & Simple by Steve Hagen, gave three important things to remember, which will ultimately free and enlighten us: 1. You, everyone, everything you know, love, and hate, is going to die some day 2. You are complete already 3. You are your own salvation. If we do not recognize these three concepts we can be manipulated, controlled, ordered around, spit upon, shamed, and have every evil thing under the sun done to us, but if we do, if there is nothing left to lose, then baby, we are truly free.
And by accepting this inherent truth, the complete power of the individual, we can, according to Chaos magicians like comic cook writer Grant Morrison, start to manipulate this virtual reality game we are forced to play. Magicians do this by tricking their own mind. Occultists and Buddhists have often echoed the same sentiment: the interior world is a perfect reflection of the exterior one. By influencing one we can influence the make-up of the other. However, this "changing" cannot be done with sheer will alone (though was tried with extravagant memory palaces of the Middle Ages) it must be done surreptitiously, through a sort of back-handed hypnosis. The easiest method described is the creation of sigils. Morrison goes into it with his article Pop Magic!.
To shamans in Paleolithic clans, to magicians in the ancient Middle East, to Tibetans monks and today's occultists, researchers of the esoteric have been searching for the same thing: to peal back the layers of reality and be left with the TRUTH, whatever that may be. These truths are sometimes terrifying because they speak directly to what is inside us all. Because absolutely everything is in there-- Angels, demons, monsters, the old and new gods, black holes and supernovas, butterflies, ladybugs, and spiders, EVERYTHING. The beauty of homo sapiens is our self awareness and the fact that however we came to be, we are now studying the thing that created us. This fact gives us unfathomable power and happiness, but also unbearable agony, because we can have alternative intentions than what our actions may showcase, and as occultists know, INTENTION IS EVERYTHING.
To confront God, you have to recognize what you are, and that is infinite. You are not some small, powerless Sim inside a house stuck inside a computer's hard drive, you are everything. Before the advent of language, humans were unconvinced the back of the their head was closed, or that their thoughts were even their own but instead the voices of gods. Each human is unlimited, unfathomable potential, and no one, nobody has the right to control you.
The greatest lie in history was this: being thrown from the Garden of Eden was a "bad" thing. It was the most glorious thing that has ever happened. We now have freewill to decide our paths. Though it may agonize, it is our birth right to confront not only evil, but also our creator. We can do that by not being complacent and by not giving into the one with answers who promises peace and security. That is how we fight the voyeuristic God, by discovering our own potential, the universe within.
Trolling Difficulty Level: 10/10, would try again
Trolling in Pairs:
Some have said that performing rituals in duos is superior, seeing as I haven't tried I can't tell you. However, it might by a fun first date experience ;)
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Introduct
You are probably asking yourself what this blog is about? TROLL GURU is a site dedicated to the art of trolling in video games. You read that right, it is a place to learn about being a bastard. This is an evil, evil place where a person can go to blow ON steam. However, before we get started I have an important question to discuss. Everyone knows what "trolling" is, but few have taken the effort to describe what it is. Since this blog is based around the concept, it is a good idea to fully consider what IT is.
Trolling is about being a dick with bad ass intention. When you conquer your foe inside the frame of a video game, there is nothing better than thrusting your salty t-bag upon the loser's face. It not only pisses the loser off, it also shows your superiority. They are your bitch, your play-toy, and you are the cat fucking with the dead mouse. You can smear your uncouth genitalia across his chin and he can't do a damn thing to stop it. That is the goal of trolling. It's not about being an asshole. It's about being the dick fucking the asshole. Domination, humiliation, power-play. In a weird way it is similar to sadomasochism, where one derives pleasure from giving or receiving pain, or the German concept of schadenfreude, obtaining pleasure from anothers misery. And methinks Foucault, if he were alive today, would have a few things to say about this medium's form of willing the other player into submission.
The goal of this blog is not about being a jerk to the other players, it is instead about humiliation. This humiliation, the forcing of your opponent into believing he is overwhelmingly outmatched by your abilities, will often cause your adversaries to give up early, not necessarily physically but almost always mentally. A brick statue of motherfucking Gandalf the Grey is in his path, and that fucking statue is you. Sun Tzu once said in The Art of War that "supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting." Similarly, crushing your opponents' will via these "trolling" gestures will accomplish the same thing. You will defeat your enemy within the first minute, and the rest of the game will belong to you. You will literally be able to start forming the boundaries within the game that others believe they are playing in. Warning, this is not a simple take. Being a good troll does require you to know the ins and outs of a game. It requires extensive knowledge and a dedication to something others in society may see as a waste of time.
TROLL GURU is dedicated to all the would-be trolls out there waiting to terrorize their friends. So welcome to the world of fuckery, scoundrel, you are in good company.
Trolling is about being a dick with bad ass intention. When you conquer your foe inside the frame of a video game, there is nothing better than thrusting your salty t-bag upon the loser's face. It not only pisses the loser off, it also shows your superiority. They are your bitch, your play-toy, and you are the cat fucking with the dead mouse. You can smear your uncouth genitalia across his chin and he can't do a damn thing to stop it. That is the goal of trolling. It's not about being an asshole. It's about being the dick fucking the asshole. Domination, humiliation, power-play. In a weird way it is similar to sadomasochism, where one derives pleasure from giving or receiving pain, or the German concept of schadenfreude, obtaining pleasure from anothers misery. And methinks Foucault, if he were alive today, would have a few things to say about this medium's form of willing the other player into submission.
The goal of this blog is not about being a jerk to the other players, it is instead about humiliation. This humiliation, the forcing of your opponent into believing he is overwhelmingly outmatched by your abilities, will often cause your adversaries to give up early, not necessarily physically but almost always mentally. A brick statue of motherfucking Gandalf the Grey is in his path, and that fucking statue is you. Sun Tzu once said in The Art of War that "supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting." Similarly, crushing your opponents' will via these "trolling" gestures will accomplish the same thing. You will defeat your enemy within the first minute, and the rest of the game will belong to you. You will literally be able to start forming the boundaries within the game that others believe they are playing in. Warning, this is not a simple take. Being a good troll does require you to know the ins and outs of a game. It requires extensive knowledge and a dedication to something others in society may see as a waste of time.
TROLL GURU is dedicated to all the would-be trolls out there waiting to terrorize their friends. So welcome to the world of fuckery, scoundrel, you are in good company.
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